Best Friends

      Best friends are the best!  I don’t know how people go through life without one.  Most of us have good friends, and even great friends, but those who have "best friends" know what I'm talking about--there is a difference.  A true best friend knows more about you than anyone else and still chooses to spend time with you.  They not only choose to spend time with you, but they actually don’t feel complete without you in their life.  As if their life simply doesn’t work right without you in it.  A best friend feels what you feel and experiences what you experience, even if they aren’t with you physically when you are going through it.  This is the type of friend I refer to when I say “best friend.”

      I am blessed to have a best friend; someone who has been with me since second grade.  When you have known a person for that long it gets to a point that even if you decided you didn’t like them anymore, you are still obligated to be their friend simply because of what they know about you. They have way too much information on you to ever let them go (this is not my case).   If you are lucky, that person becomes so precious to you that you know you simply could not live without them (this is my case)!  We have known each other so long we can have an entire conversation without actually saying anything.  What I mean is, we share so many of the same memories that we can simply say, "Do you remember that time?", and the other one knows exactly what time is being referred to.  Here is what a conversation can look like:

      Me:  "Do you remember when we...
      Her:  "Then we went to the..."
      Me:  "But it was closed."
      Her:  "Oh my goodness, that was the funniet thing ever."
      Us:  <hysterical laughter>

      Our friendship has survived distance, a falling out, more distance, and extended periods of time of not seeing each other.  Yet through all of that, we have remained close and have been with each other through all the major milestones of life.  One of our most precious moments in my heart was being in the delivery room when her youngest child was born.  That is something I will cherish for all time.  Another one was bringing Tony home to my parent’s house and her waiting in front of their house with two or three large bags from Toys-R-Us.  These are moments that aren’t shared with just anyone outside of the family-tree.  As I am sure most of you know, family is more than just biological relation, and she is family to me!

      I was reading the book of Ruth in the Bible this week and weeping, which seems to happen every time I read it.  There is something so powerful about the relationship between Ruth and Naomi.  Ruth was willing to do whatever it took to stay with Naomi.  Naomi was so important to her she simply knew she had to be with her, to share her life with her, to follow her wherever she went.  “But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.  May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me’” (Ruth 1:16-17).

      The part that caught my focus this week was “your people will be my people.”  Since my best friend and I have known each other since elementary school we have had to live this part of the verse.   She is just as much a part of my family as my own siblings, and I am a part of her family as well. As we were dating we had to accept each other’s boyfriends and even each other’s friends.  Then came engagements and marriages.  We not only had to accept each other’s spouses, but they had to accept us as well.  When we get together we are a force to be reckoned with and can be quite overwhelming to be around.  We have been blessed that our spouses get along; most of our boyfriends did not!  Next came our kids, which of course we love and accept as our own and they all seem to love each other as well.  As a matter of fact, our oldest boys talk every week, even if it is just though Xbox Live.

      It is easy to overlook how blessed we are to have this lasting friendship and unbreakable bond between us.  There is not a day that goes by that she is not on my mind, in my heart, and embedded in my prayers.  There are few days over the years that we missed talking to each other, whether in person, over the phone, social media, and/or email.  The majority of my precious memories have her in them and I can’t imagine my life without her. In the movie “Runaway Bride,” Rita Wilson’s character says to Richard Gere’s character that it takes three people to maker her marriage work, her, her husband, and their therapist.  My best friend and I say something similar, but instead of saying therapist, we say each other.

      So this week I am thankful for Jennifer Dippel.  I am thankful for her heart, and that I have a home there.  I am thankful for her ears, and that they are always ready to hear me go on-and-on until I am done.  I am thankful for her arms and the warmth of their hugs.  I am thankful for her mind and the way it helps guide mine.  I am thankful for her mouth and the wisdom that comes from it.  I am thankful for her spirit, enthusiasm, and energy and how they affect me when we are together.   I am thankful for her laughter and how contagious it is.  I am thankful to finally live so close to her that I can randomly stop by for a visit for no reason at all.  And finally, I am thankful for our memories, the ones we cherish, all the ones we have forgotten, and the ones we wish we could forget and will never tell…anyone!

Fine Line

There is a fine line between being pushy and being encouraging, sharing and forcing, being a salesman and being annoying.  I struggle to find that line sometimes.  There are specific things I interpret as being pushy, but in reality it is usually my own conviction that gets to me.   Sometimes what I find as pushy is simply someone sharing their passion with others because they want them to enjoy the success or benefit.  Being honest, I am not a good salesperson.  I feel like I am being pushy and annoying each time I mention something I am selling.  I also struggle sharing about something I believe in if it requires help from other people.  Heck, I even feel weird when I share posts about my latest blogs, and I am not even selling anything!  I know all of this about myself, and yet I keep finding myself in positions where I have to sell something or enlist the help of others or advertise something.

I have taken on tasks and responsibilities lately that are requiring me to do these things I am uncomfortable with.  I have signed up to lead two teams at church, both of which I am going to be required to recruit people to help me.  I am fortunate that I go to a church that makes this process relatively painless.  Once I enlist people though, I will be responsible for scheduling and holding these people accountable to the established standard.  I am really good at doing things myself—asking for help, however, is not one of my strong traits.  I know God purposefully called me to these two teams not only serve Him, but to grow me as well.  I am mentally preparing myself for this challenge and growth-opportunity.  I am relying on God for His strength and I know He will come through for me.  “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). I am actually looking forward to developing some new skills and creating a comfortable place within my discomfort.

Then…there is this other thing I have signed up for—this is the hard one for me!  I have signed up to sell a product called Plexus.  For those of you who don’t know, Plexus is a line of health and wellness products that is sold through independent distributors called Ambassadors.  Even telling you about this now, feels like a shameless plug. Some family members and my best friend have been using these products and selling them with improved health.  All of them have had great results with weight loss, pain reduction or elimination, stomach and gut issues subsiding, and some other general health issues that are improving or have completely been eliminated.  However, I was a little slow to get on the Plexus bandwagon.   Being a fairly healthy person, I do not typically battle with health issues or my weight, though in the past few years it is becoming more of a battle to manage my weight.  At first, I thought I didn’t need these products so I dismissed them.  While I conducted research and liked what I saw, I just wasn’t ready to dive in.

Well, a little over a month ago, I decided to start using Plexus.  I started with just one product,  gradually adding one at a time, and now I am using four and considering one more. Soon after I began using the products I decided to sign up to sell—I can’t believe I signed up to do this; this is so not me.  I am not one of those people who signs up to sell products.  But something here was different, I simply felt lead to sign up and the fact is, I truly believe in Plexus and all the things the products can and are doing for my health and the people I love.  Let me be clear, my struggle is not with what I am selling, it’s having the courage to sell the products to other people…especially people I know.  

I try to post things on social media because that is where I tend to share my life.  Plus, I know this is a great way to reach a large audience.  If Plexus can help even one more person to get healthy and maintain that health, then I just have to share about it, but each time I post something I feel guilty.  I stew and brew over the right wording and struggle with feeling like I am bothering people with these posts.  It’s like two forces pulling me in opposing directions.  On one hand, I love these products and truly want to share them with other people that I know can benefit.  On the other hand I don’t want to annoy people and make them feel like I am this crazy pushy sales woman that just won’t leave them alone.  In the end I just pray over my words, hit the “post” button, and hope for the best.  It is uncomfortable and weird, but I truly believe it is what I am supposed to be doing.

Now I am left wondering; why would God call me to things I am clearly uncomfortable with?  Why would He call me to something I absolutely know I am not good at?  Why would He call me to something that causes me such anxiety and stress? Perhaps all of that is the point.  To call me to the uncomfortable so I have to seek my comfort in Him.  To have me doing something I am not good at to develop new skills.  To teach me to give Him all of my anxieties, stress, and fears and allow Him to give me the strength I need for everything.  So, I am choosing to live out Psalm 56:3; “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”  I am feeling better already, maybe I will go type a post about Plexus…hmmm, perhaps I will pray first!  Such a fine line.

P.S.  As a side note, it took me about a week to stew and brew over these words to finally post it.  I am still a work in progress!

Please Stand By

     Sometimes, no matter how well you guard your schedule and try to prevent yourself from over committing, you find yourself with too much on your plate.  It may not be a permanent busyness, it could just be a bit of a busy season, but it is busy all the same.  I struggle with my feelings of doubt when commitments approach my capacity..  I ask myself; “Is this really what God wants for me?”  “Did I commit to something that wasn’t meant for me?”  “Does God really want me to be this busy?”  “What if I can’t handle all of this and do a bad job?”  I begin to feel overwhelmed with just my thoughts.

     I find myself at the beginning of a busy period.  It isn’t going to quite be a season, because this busyness will subside once things are rolling.  Here is how it happened:  I have been praying for what God would have me commit my time to.  Trying to be intentional about each thing I put on my plate.  I carefully and prayerfully chose a select few things that I felt God was leading me to.  It looked like all of these things would be staggered in their start-up times so it seemed to be perfect – I could gradually grow into the commitments.  I should know by now that when things look perfect on paper, there is no bearing on how they will actually play out in real life.

     So hear I am with my perfectly planned schedule, yet everything seems to be starting all at the same time.  Oh, and I added a commitment that I hadn’t previously planned for, but feel it is what I am suppose to do all the same.  To complicate things, I already have tasks that I committed to, outside of the battle-rhythm of the day, that are in motion, such as, blogging, kid’s activities, writing, etc…  A few weeks ago I started serving on Sunday mornings at church, which is so wonderful, but the area I am serving needs a little more organization than I anticipated—but this is ok, because I love organizing.  A couple of weeks ago I signed up to sell a health product called Plexus; I am just as shocked as anyone about that!  Plus, I just became the director for Cityserve at Citymark church, which is our outreach program and my absolute passion.  This role will require research and planning as there are already a few events attached to this commitment.  Let’s not forget all the regular mom and wife duties that do not do themselves.  Oh, and one more thing, we have a few foster care commitments such as paperwork, appointments, and classes.  Whew, I am exhausted just thinking about it.

     All of this appears to be a lot, and it is, but I don’t believe it will be too much.  Once everything is in motion, each task will not demand as much time.  Once organized, my Sunday morning service will only need my time on Sunday mornings, with just an occasional email or scheduling task during the week.  Plexus will only take up as much time as I choose to give it.  Cityserve will only be periodic since we do not do daily service projects.  Most of our foster care obligations will be done by December.  After this initial start-up period my schedule will be more predictable and much more manageable.   Even though I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I still find myself plagued with concern for my abilities to handle all that is on my plate.   

     Do you ever feel that your full plate is the precursor to the bottom falling out from the more routine things in life?  Kind of like piling more food on an already full paper plate—you know, the cheap flimsy ones—only to have it give way from the added weight.  This is where I feel like I am heading.  All the things I have added to my schedule are bringing me such joy; even though they are a bit time consuming now.  All these things are things I am choosing to do to further God’s kingdom; satan clearly doesn’t like that at all.  “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken” (Psalm 52:22).

     Just as I find myself knee deep in my righteous schedule, satan seems to be unraveling other areas of my life right before my eyes.  Tony is struggling at school leaving my husband and I unsure of the right decision for him.  I recently felt led to start a women’s Bible study, only to have that fall though due to poor attendance.  And because of our recent move, my husband and I are going through a time of financial planning that is leaving us wondering how all the pieces will fit together..  Plus with all of this stress we are struggling to find the time and energy to connect with each other everyday.  These are only a few distractions that are weighing us down during this timeframe.  It would be easy for us to feel defeated or burdened under the weight of these stresses and decisions.  The Bible says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

     There are times when I can’t free or reduce my schedule, but I need to take time to be still and hear from God.  No matter how busy I am, I am never too busy for my God.  When my plate is the fullest that is when my time with God needs to be the most purposeful.   I just need to pray the negative thoughts away, focus my eyes on God, and take one step at a time as God leads, always remembering that this schedule is not written in stone and anything can be moved, changed, or dropped entirely.  I do not have to become a slave to my schedule.  “Plant your feet firmly therefore within the freedom that Christ has won for us, and do not let yourselves be caught again in the shackles of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).  As long as my goal is God’s plan, it will all work for His good…and in His timing.  I interrupt this regularly scheduled life for some crazy busy time; please stand by!

Jogging Makes Me Stupid

     I am not a runner.  As a matter of fact, I am barely a jogger.  I try to be a jogger, but I have yet to really enjoy it.  For years, people have been telling me that jogging/running can be addictive, especially if you start doing races.  Another thing I was told was that running could really make you drop pounds quick.  I have discovered that these people clearly lie and desperately need to repent!  I will continue to pray for them until they see the error of their ways.

     I have realized that running does not cause the endorphins to flow through me, like they do in others, resulting in happy feelings.  To tell you the truth, I am a mean jogger.  I am too embarrassed to tell you how many times I told my husband to “shut-up” during our first 5k together.  Let me just put it this way, my goal for our second 5k was not to tell him to shut-up—but I thought it almost the whole time.  Even when I am jogging by myself I still tend to shout “shut-up” out loud, A LOT!

     Here is a peak into my mind as I am jogging…

“How long have I been running?  Only two minutes, are you kidding me?  I should just quit; this is ridiculous.  Shut-up!  I’m glad I am wearing bright colors today so the cars won’t run me over when I pass out in the street.  How much longer?  Really?  This is horrible.  Shut-up!  I want some ice cream.  Shut-up!  Sing it Mandisa.  I am stronger; I can do this.  I wonder if I have burned enough calories to have a bowl of ice cream yet?  Oh my goodness, I haven’t even gone a mile yet.  Jogging is stupid!”

  This is an actual exert from my mind.  Clearly jogging is way more of a mind game than a physical challenge for me.

     I have done four 5k races to date.  Although, one of them was a mud run and I have to say there was way more slithering in mud than actual running.  At the beginning of the year when our family was setting our goals, my oldest son and I decided we were going to do a 10k before the end of the year.  Seriously?  Who did I think I was?  Jogging simply makes me stupid.  Needless to say, here we are nearing the end of October and we have yet to run our 10k.  I was looking up races last weekend and found a 10k for the following week.  I though it would be a good idea until I read that there was a time limit.  I would have to finish the race in one and a half hours.  So, I figured I better see if I could actually do such a thing.

     After getting dressed for a run, I begin looking for my phone where my music and running app are.  I finally find it only to discover that Tony has used up almost all of my battery.  I put it on the charger and finished getting ready.  Meanwhile, my husband is suggesting a new path to run and claimed it is fairly shaded.  Once I am ready to go, I decide my phone is charged enough, so I set out on the path.  About 10 minutes into my jog I realize running after eating biscuits, sausage, and gravy for breakfast was not a genius plan.  After about three more minutes, I conclude the hearty breakfast was a great idea for stamina, but this run is stupid.  The battle in my mind is getting heated and I have already yelled “shut-up” twice and I haven’t even gone two miles yet.  At this point I am becoming angry with my husband because the shade he claimed was going to accompany this trail was nowhere to be found.

     Then I see it, partially hidden in the brush, a warning sign.  It read, “CAUTION ALLIGATOR & SNAKE HABITAT” and the sign had a couple of skulls painted on it.  This began my high step sprinting.  Just as I was slowing down to prevent death, I see them, across the water, and one of them is looking right at me.  Two alligators just waiting for a slow fat girl to come jogging by all out of breathe so they could easily chase her down for a snack.  I no longer have the energy for a sprint, so I stop and take their pictures.  All the while I am thinking some not so pleasant thoughts about my husband.

     A little over four miles into my jog I realize there is no way I am going to finish this thing in the allotted time.  I try to convince myself that I can push it out and make it happen, then I realize just how old and out of shape I am.  Just over five miles in my phone dies.  Defeated, exhausted, sweaty, angry, and hurting…I stagger home.  What the heck was I thinking?  If I am going to run a 10k I clearly need to prepare myself better and pick a race without a time limit.  Here I am five days later and I am still feeling the effects from that jog.  Getting old and out of shape is no fun—but running is even worse!

This Is Me

     So, here is a glimpse into my real life…the real me if you will.  I—AM—CHEAP!  I confess this boldly with confidence and no shame.  I love a good deal and can’t seem to make a purchase unless I can find one.  I find myself saying things like “I would have $10 liked that, but I don’t $15 like it,” or “if that was $5, I would totally buy it, but $10 is just outrageous.”  Don’t get me wrong, I like good quality things; I just don’t like their high prices.  I wonder if I would be different if I was extremely wealthy, or would I just have more cheap things?

     Some of my hardest “cheap” struggles involve clothing, shoes, jewelry, and purses.  I love them all equally, but just can’t bear to spend a lot of money on any of them.  People are always recommending places to shop and saying things like, “their prices are really reasonable,” or, “the prices are really low,” or “this place is totally affordable.”  The problem is that when I get to these places or look at them on-line, I am usually shocked at what people find affordable.  I find five dollars affordable, ten dollars affordable, and sometimes even fifteen or twenty dollars affordable if I really like it; fifty dollars and up seems totally outrageous.  That being said, there are a few items that are exempt from this rule like; cowboy boots, James Avery jewelry, athletic shoes, and wedding rings.  I still struggle with the prices of these items too, I just know that the prices are what they are and my love for them drives me to buy them—occasionally.

     I get such a thrill when I find a good deal.  When someone offers a compliment on something I am wearing or what my children are wearing, I usually can’t stop myself from telling them how little I spent on it.  I am not sure if being cheap is something to brag about, but I find myself doing it from time-to-time.  Part of me is cheap because I am trying to be a good steward of our money, but the other part of me is driven by something totally different.  I pay less for things so I can have more of them.  For example, I would rather have a cheap purse or a watch in every color as opposed to an expensive watch or purse in one neutral color.  Sometimes I think I end up spending the same amount of money, I just have more stuff to show for it.  My thinking is…I like variety, I like to change things up, and if I spend a lot of money on one item I feel like I have to use that item and only that item.  Like my wedding ring, it was expensive, and my husband talks about wanting to get me a new one, but I feel guilty when the one I have is perfectly fine and doesn’t need replacing.  I don’t feel guilty replacing a cheap purse that has been worn out.  I feel like I have gotten my money’s worth out of a $10 purse that I have had for four or five years.  My purses usually last at least that long because I have so many to choose from they don’t get used as often as if I had one good expensive one.

     Being the fall season, this is the time of year I struggle the most.  School has started, the weather is changing, winter is coming, and everyone needs new clothes and shoes.  I try to shop for deals and find myself so frustrated at the prices.  I just can’t bring myself to spend $25-$35 on a pair of shoes for my two-year-old.  She is going to grow out of them even before the season ends and many times they will still look like new.  Even my boys stuff is a struggle because they too are growing, but they are also very hard on things, making it difficult for their clothes to last even until they grow out of them.  I want to be wise with the spending of our money but it seems to be a hard thing to do in this day and age.

     I love resale and consignment for baby girl, and sometimes even me, but by the time kids get to my boys age, 11 and 15, the selection of clothes there is sparse.  I also find that these types of stores are not user friendly if you have a child in a stroller.   They are usually packed in so tight there simply isn’t room for a stroller, but taking little miss sassy pants into a store without a stroller is like signing my own death wish!  I end up feeling stuck and frustrated and still in need of clothes and such for the kids.

     Unfortunately my cheap side did not get passed down to my 15 year old.  When he tells me something is affordable, it gives me heart palpitations.  His idea of inexpensive jeans is $50…I repeat, $50, I mean, really?  I usually let him know how much I am willing to spend on any item and tell him he has to cover the difference with his own money.  This concept works for most things he needs, but unfortunately not all of them.  Have you priced football cleats or athletic shoes lately?  They are outrageous!  His football cleats, for example, will be stinky and gross after the first practice and yet cost me an arm and a leg to purchase.  Plus, he not only needs cleats for practice, but he also needs another pair for games—can you say, money-hemorrhage!  He better sign a NFL contract and pay me back for all of this—I kid, I kid—sort of.

     So, I am off to do some more on-line price comparisons so baby girl will have some clothes to wear this winter.  Perhaps I need to get better at sewing so I can just make her clothes.  Of course, fabric isn’t cheap either.  I tell you, the struggle is real people, the struggle is real.