Copy Cats

     I don’t know about y’all, but my kids are parrots!  From my 15 year old to my 2 year old, they are all guilty of it.  They repeat just about anything they hear or see.  Sometimes this can be a good thing, but more often that not it is a bad thing or at the very least an embarrassing thing.   When you have one child they tend to really only copy the parents.  I remember when Lance was two I was in the living room talking on the phone to my best friend while he was playing in his room.  I may or may not have been lovingly complaining about a family member……don’t judge, you know you have done it!!  All of a sudden I could hear him through the baby monitor repeating my entire conversation while he was playing with his toys.  He was actually acting out my comments.  I was mortified, amused, and completely thankful I had never mentioned the name of the person I was talking about.

     As you add more kids to the family you are also adding more people for your kids to copy, and this is a scary concept.  I find myself uttering “monkey see, monkey do” constantly in regards to my 2 youngest.  Tony is always complaining about how Lance treats him, for example that Lance doesn’t want to play with him or that he won’t let him play a video game, etc…  However, I find he treats baby girl the same way, so my youngest reacts to my middle the way my middle reacts to my oldest.  It is a vicious cycle I tell you.  I try to point this out to my children and tell them that they need to be copying the ways of the Lord instead of man.  “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” Ephesians 5:1-2.  I have tried to explain this logic to my children, it has yet to take root, but I am still hopeful!!

     Once our children reach a certain age we send them off to school, which is a whole other group of kids they can learn from and copy.   I wish they would only copy the good things, but more often than not they seek out the undesirable traits and focus on them.  As I have mentioned before, Tony has some special needs and has been attending special schools for the past couple of years.  When he was in the 3^rd grade I got a call from the teacher and she explained that he had been using his middle finger in school and it was becoming a problem.  Now, my first response was “why didn’t you call me the first time he did it instead of waiting for him to develop a habit of it?”.  However, my next question was, “Did you ask him if he knew what that meant?”.  His teachers explained that they hadn’t asked but it seemed very clear he understood and seemed to be using it appropriately.  Again I reiterated that they should ask him.  After much discussion I went up to the school and met with the teachers, the principal and my son so I could ask him.  This is what the conversation looked like: 

Me:  Tony, I understand you have been using your middle finger at school, is this correct?

Tony:  Uuummmm, yes. (with hesitation and uncertainty) 

Me:  Do you know what it means when you use your middle finger?

Tony:  Oh yes, but I can’t say it because it is a bad word and you will be mad.

Me:  I understand, but I am going to need you to tell me anyway.

~Now comes much hesitation from him and lots of coaxing by me. 

Tony:  (in a whisper) it means (long pause with shifty eyes) shut up!

~A few snickers spread through the room of adults, but they manage to keep it together.  

Me:  That is not what that finger means son.    

Tony:  Uh-ha, cuz every time I use it people shut up.  I saw a boy do it and all the kids got quiet so I used my middle finger to. 

~Now adults are having to excuse themselves from the room because they can no longer contain their laughter. 

My son was so serious and so convinced that he knew exactly what he was doing, but he did not!!!  He was merely copying and assuming he knew what he was doing.  It makes me think and wonder, how many times I thought I knew exactly what I was doing and what was saying was right, only it wasn’t!  How many times I gave someone advice I thought was helpful and insightful that in looking back I now see was useless and wrong.  Most of the time we operate from the good place in our hearts that wants to be helpful, not hurtful, wants to ease the troubles, not create them.  The problem is that we are human, we don’t know it all and we don’t always know what's best.  Thankfully we serve a God who does know it all and ALWAYS does what is right for us.  “For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11 

     So last week I was having a date lunch with my bff and baby girl was with us.  She is probably the worst about the copying.  She copies everything I do, from putting on make-up, to cleaning, to my facial expressions and tone of voice.  She is full of personality and so, so sassy!  Now, I had a full hysterectomy a year ago so at the young age of 41 I get to have hot flashes, I know, you are jealous!!  So we are sitting in a booth and she is mimicking our body language as my friend and I chat away.  Suddenly she seems exasperated, grabs the menu and begins to fan herself.  I mean really, for the love, now she is copying my hot flashes?!  These are the problems of a 2 year old with and old mommy!!!  Sometimes you just have to laugh!