God's Promises

     About a year ago I did a Bible study on Gideon and what I discovered was most unexpected!  God knows exactly what we need even before we need it, and this Bible study was just that for me.  I joined this Bible study because Gideon is a biblical character I didn't know much about but was interested to learn more.  Also, it was a Pricilla Shirer Bible study and I had never been in one of her studies before.  I was not really thinking that Gideon's story would have so many life applications for my own life-story.  I had no idea this would be exactly what I needed and my life would depend on these truths that were revealed.

     When I was a young girl I dreamed of being a pastor's wife and having a lot of kids.  Though I never knew how many kids I would have I always dreamed of having a big family.  When I met and fell in love with my husband, I was shocked to find out that he was not a pastor. In addition, he only wanted two kids, a boy and a girl.  After much talking he agreed that if we had two children of the same gender he would be willing to go for a third, but three was his limit—period.  So began my prayer for two boys and twin girls (or maybe even triplets).  I wondered why God would lead me to a man in the military who didn't want a big family like I did, but I trusted Him and followed His leading believing God could make miracles happen—and by miracles I mean changing my husband's heart.  Plus, I was totally in love with this man and just knew we were meant to be.

     Soon after getting married, we realized there were fertility issues and having kids would not be as easy as we had hoped.  Again, I questioned God and the promises I felt He made to me so many years before.  Unfortunately, I was not in a place in my Christian walk where I relied on God and my faith in Him.  So many days I was left in a dark place without hope.  Finally after a few years of infertility struggles my husband and I were blessed with a healthy baby boy and I felt we were on our way to our big happy family and we were finally over the struggles.  The struggles definitely didn't end there.  Soon after the birth of our son we began planning for our next child, my next pregnancy—this was not to be!

     When Lance was four we began the adoption process and were met with one disappointment after another.  Again, I began to question God's promise, but this time my relationship with God and faith in Him were in alignment so I was able to turn and lean on Him in our struggle.  Finally, we received an unexpected call from the adoption agency and 2 days later we had our second son!  Basking in the glow of God's promises I thought I now knew how God planned to grow the rest of our family; adoption was going to be our ticket to the family I had always dreamt of.  I saw His plan clearly and knew just how it was going to play out.  The next several years, however, were plagued with struggles and disappointments, but no more children.  Steve and I struggled with each other, as our minds weren't on the same path.  He was content with our boys and I still felt like there was a daughter (or two) out there that belonged in our family.

     We finally got on the same page and felt called to foster to adopt, which is something I never would have thought I would be able to do.  I thought we would go through another adoption agency as before, but God clearly had other plans.  I believed we were meant to have a baby girl (or two or three) and just couldn't see how that could happen through foster care.  So, you guessed right, once again I was questioning God and His promise.  The first call we got was to foster a 14-year-old girl, which is not exactly a baby, but we felt a strong pull at our hearts to parent her.  We were immediately blessed by our obedience as we fell in love with this girl so deeply and so quickly.   I almost thought that God’s plan had changed and that a baby girl was not to be in our future, but that maybe it was a teenage girl instead.

     Three weeks later, I was recovering mentally from a rough couple of days with foster care issues.  My loving husband was trying to give me words of encouragement and love to begin my day.  He was quoting some scripture and told me to go forth and prosper, but not to multiply while he was gone. We both laughed and kissed as he was off to a seminar near the house for the day instead of his usual long commute into Washington, D.C.  Well, no more than 15 minutes after he leaves we get a call and were asked to foster a six-month-old baby girl!  I am pretty sure I said yes even before calling my husband to discuss it, but quickly came to my senses and told the social worker I would have to call her back after I talked to Steve.  I called him, trying to hold back the tears, and said, “Remember how you told me not to multiply?  Well, I did!”  I could no longer hold back the tears of joy as I tried to explain to him what had just happened.  Needless to say, we were both able to go to the hospital together and meet this precious baby girl.

     We have had seven foster children come and go from our home in the past couple of years and one baby girl still in our home today that we are faithfully waiting on God to release for adoption.  This is a total of 10 kids I have mothered and loved!  And there it is, my big happy family that God had promised me all along.  It would be easy for me to look at my current situation and be disappointed and not see the promises fulfilled because it hasn't happened as I planned.  But the truth is, God promised me all those years ago that I would be a mom and have a big family, He never told me how that was going to happen—and His plan has been so much greater than I ever could have imagined!  Now I am left wondering, what other promises have I missed along the way because I was so busy focusing on my plans instead of His and I missed the big picture?

     Oh, and about that promise of me being married to a pastor—God is still faithful.  After getting baby girl in our home, Steve finished seminary receiving a masters in Christian Ministry.  He has been called into the ministry and plans to pursue that after retiring from the Coast Guard.  God has been grooming Steve all along to fulfill His plan—and my dream.  I can look back now and see all the things God has placed in Steve’s path to prepare him for this call and I am amazed.  When God makes a promise, He fulfills it on His time—His perfect time, not ours.  He brings His promises to fruition in His ways—His perfect ways, not ours.

     So, today I am thankful for God's promises and that he is faithful to fulfill them, and that His way is always so much better and more fulfilling than my way could ever dream of being!  I am also thankful for a patient and loving God.  A God who is patient with a girl who struggles with doubt and constantly seems to question Him when all the while He is faithfully carrying out His plans with love for His purpose despite this human who is always getting in His way!  Oh what a gift it is to follow such a loving God who continues to love and bless me even when I don't always recognize it!  Let’s look for His blessings today—they truly are all around us.