As I was cleaning my bathroom today I noticed this scene on the
ledge of my bathtub.
Now to some of you this is just toys that need
to be put away, a mess that needs to be picked up, perhaps a sign of a mom who is behind on her duties, but I assure you it is so
much more. These dolls represent answered prayers and blessings God has poured
into our lives. They are the constant reminders of a home filled with love,
laughter, screaming, giggles, splashes of water all over the bathroom, hugs and
kisses, and a family made by God. As I see the dolls on the side of my tub I
almost hate to put them away. My precious little girl has placed them there
strategically to dry them out before their next play date. She even laid out one of their swimsuits "like mommy does" so it will dry out before it is to be worn again. My heart is full and
I am overwhelmed with thankfulness as my eyes begin to leak down my cheeks. The
privilege of being her mom is not lost on me in this moment.
For the sake of honesty, I must
admit that I do not always look at my kid's toys and messes and become
overwhelmed with thankfulness. Many times, I have overwhelming feelings, they
just aren't thankful ones. For example, when I walk into my middle son's room
and find this…
This death trap he calls Legos! The feelings I
have usually involve screams of pain (as I have certainly stepped on a few of
them), words that can only be thought because my children are in the room, and
the desire for a large black trash bag to the rid me of this horror. Then there
are times I peak around the corner and catch him building and pretending with
his precious Legos and remember why we keep buying them for him. My heart once
again is filled with joy and I forget the agonizing pain of stepping on one of
those horrid little pieces. I remember how blessed we are to have him, love
him, and raise him everyday. The privilege of being his mom is not lost on me
in this moment.
Then, of course, I turn to leave
his room and am assaulted by the sight of my teenage son's room and my
thankfulness begins to fade.
What does that boy do in his sleep? What do you think
is in that cup, and how long has it been in there? And for the love of all
things sacred, what is that smell? A teenage boy's room is not for the faint of
heart. As I stand there, holding my nose, fuming inside because he simply
cannot keep his room straight, I suddenly remember he is 16. In two more years
I will not get to see this mess anymore (accept during holidays and summers). I
will not be bombarded with the banging of his drums or the shooting sounds from
his video games or even the sound of his voice yelling at his siblings for
entering his pigpen he calls a bedroom without his permission. I am suddenly
grateful for the mess, not the smell, and choose to take in the sights for they
are quickly coming to an end. And, then, I yell for him to come clean his pigpen,
because I am the mom and that's what I do! But the privilege of being his mom
is not lost on me in this moment.
I am blessed to be the mom of
three precious, loud, messy, amazing children. Our children did not come to our family easily. It was a long
difficult road that sometimes felt treacherous and lonely, but it lead to
abundant blessings I wouldn't trade for the world. “I
prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him” (1
Samuel 1:27). All I ever wanted to
be was a wife and mom. The fact that the Lord has been faithful to me and
granted me what I asked is truly miraculous. The privilege of being their mom
is not lost on me.
