Please Stand By

     Sometimes, no matter how well you guard your schedule and try to prevent yourself from over committing, you find yourself with too much on your plate.  It may not be a permanent busyness, it could just be a bit of a busy season, but it is busy all the same.  I struggle with my feelings of doubt when commitments approach my capacity..  I ask myself; “Is this really what God wants for me?”  “Did I commit to something that wasn’t meant for me?”  “Does God really want me to be this busy?”  “What if I can’t handle all of this and do a bad job?”  I begin to feel overwhelmed with just my thoughts.

     I find myself at the beginning of a busy period.  It isn’t going to quite be a season, because this busyness will subside once things are rolling.  Here is how it happened:  I have been praying for what God would have me commit my time to.  Trying to be intentional about each thing I put on my plate.  I carefully and prayerfully chose a select few things that I felt God was leading me to.  It looked like all of these things would be staggered in their start-up times so it seemed to be perfect – I could gradually grow into the commitments.  I should know by now that when things look perfect on paper, there is no bearing on how they will actually play out in real life.

     So hear I am with my perfectly planned schedule, yet everything seems to be starting all at the same time.  Oh, and I added a commitment that I hadn’t previously planned for, but feel it is what I am suppose to do all the same.  To complicate things, I already have tasks that I committed to, outside of the battle-rhythm of the day, that are in motion, such as, blogging, kid’s activities, writing, etc…  A few weeks ago I started serving on Sunday mornings at church, which is so wonderful, but the area I am serving needs a little more organization than I anticipated—but this is ok, because I love organizing.  A couple of weeks ago I signed up to sell a health product called Plexus; I am just as shocked as anyone about that!  Plus, I just became the director for Cityserve at Citymark church, which is our outreach program and my absolute passion.  This role will require research and planning as there are already a few events attached to this commitment.  Let’s not forget all the regular mom and wife duties that do not do themselves.  Oh, and one more thing, we have a few foster care commitments such as paperwork, appointments, and classes.  Whew, I am exhausted just thinking about it.

     All of this appears to be a lot, and it is, but I don’t believe it will be too much.  Once everything is in motion, each task will not demand as much time.  Once organized, my Sunday morning service will only need my time on Sunday mornings, with just an occasional email or scheduling task during the week.  Plexus will only take up as much time as I choose to give it.  Cityserve will only be periodic since we do not do daily service projects.  Most of our foster care obligations will be done by December.  After this initial start-up period my schedule will be more predictable and much more manageable.   Even though I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I still find myself plagued with concern for my abilities to handle all that is on my plate.   

     Do you ever feel that your full plate is the precursor to the bottom falling out from the more routine things in life?  Kind of like piling more food on an already full paper plate—you know, the cheap flimsy ones—only to have it give way from the added weight.  This is where I feel like I am heading.  All the things I have added to my schedule are bringing me such joy; even though they are a bit time consuming now.  All these things are things I am choosing to do to further God’s kingdom; satan clearly doesn’t like that at all.  “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken” (Psalm 52:22).

     Just as I find myself knee deep in my righteous schedule, satan seems to be unraveling other areas of my life right before my eyes.  Tony is struggling at school leaving my husband and I unsure of the right decision for him.  I recently felt led to start a women’s Bible study, only to have that fall though due to poor attendance.  And because of our recent move, my husband and I are going through a time of financial planning that is leaving us wondering how all the pieces will fit together..  Plus with all of this stress we are struggling to find the time and energy to connect with each other everyday.  These are only a few distractions that are weighing us down during this timeframe.  It would be easy for us to feel defeated or burdened under the weight of these stresses and decisions.  The Bible says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

     There are times when I can’t free or reduce my schedule, but I need to take time to be still and hear from God.  No matter how busy I am, I am never too busy for my God.  When my plate is the fullest that is when my time with God needs to be the most purposeful.   I just need to pray the negative thoughts away, focus my eyes on God, and take one step at a time as God leads, always remembering that this schedule is not written in stone and anything can be moved, changed, or dropped entirely.  I do not have to become a slave to my schedule.  “Plant your feet firmly therefore within the freedom that Christ has won for us, and do not let yourselves be caught again in the shackles of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).  As long as my goal is God’s plan, it will all work for His good…and in His timing.  I interrupt this regularly scheduled life for some crazy busy time; please stand by!