As I watch my
little girl play at the park, I am struck by her strength and courage. There is no structure she won’t climb, no
height she won’t conquer, no dare-devil act she seems to fear. Being my foster-daughter, it makes me think
of her rough beginnings and how she could have been. She could have been fearful, timid, and
insecure. In fact, she was those things
when we got her over two years ago. But
now, she is brave, confident, bold, and secure. She amazes me everyday with what she is
capable of, but today I am in awe of her and all that she has become in her
short little life.
She approaches
life with a determination that I envy from time-to-time. Her confidence in herself is a beautiful
thing to watch. Her confidence in me is
downright humbling. She climbed up to
the mid-level platform on the tallest play structure and yelled, “Mommy, get me!”
and jumped, even before she could see if I was ready to catch her. Lucky for her, I was ready. She quickly jumps out of my arms and runs off
to the next thing with full belief that I am right behind her, even though she
never looked back to check. She simply
trusts that I will always be there for her, whether it is to catch her, chase
her, or to kiss away her boo-boos; she has no doubt. She trusts me with it all. I dread the day when I can no longer fix it
all for her, and catch her when she falls, but I am secure in my faith that we
have a God that will never fail her!
I find myself with
mixed emotions as I watch her today, all of which are bringing me to tears this
afternoon at the park. I am so happy to
see her soaring high and growing into such an amazing girl. I am blessed to have been chosen to be a part
of her life and to be able to teach, love, hold, and even discipline her. I have a front row seat to her amazing life
and I love the ride. On the other hand,
I am also sad for how her life began and the things going on she doesn’t even
know about. No one should have to endure
such rough beginnings. Since she is
still our foster daughter I cannot share her story…yet, but I can say that from
rough beginnings have come a beautiful story of triumph, love, faith, and
strength that I am blessed to be a part of.
Then there is the fear for the day when I can no longer catch her and I
will have to watch her stumble and maybe even fall. She will not be this little for long, and she
will not always need me right there to catch her, chase her, and kiss away her
boo boos.
Watching her, I
realize how my own faith could use a little work. She trusts me, a mere human, with her whole
heart—with her whole being. Why do I
struggle to trust God whole-heartedly in everything I do and all that I
need? Why am I always looking back and
checking in to see if He is still there?
Why when I lose sight of Him for a second do I doubt? Perhaps I need some lessons in faith from my
toddler! God calls us to trust, believe,
and place our faith in Him, for EVERYTHING.
“Trust
in the Lord forever, For in the Lord, we
have an everlasting Rock” (Isaiah
26:4).
“Trust
in him at all times, you people; pour
out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Psalm62:8).
“’Have
faith in God,’ Jesus answered”
(Mark 11:22).
“Very
truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has
eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life” (John 5:24).
God’s word is clear, and yet I
struggle. I understand faith, what it
is, how it is to be used, and the reasons behind it; yet the practice of it is often
more difficult than I expect.
“Now
faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).
So today
instead of teaching my sweet girl about life, she is teaching me, without even
knowing what she is doing. She is a
living example of the faith I need.
Before having kids I thought it was my job to teach them, but I soon
realized they teach me just as much, if not more, than I could ever teach
them. Life is an amazing journey of
faith, live it to the full!
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