Have you ever known anyone who is an
angry drunk? What about that person who loves everyone after a few drinks? How
about that person who cries after a couple of glasses of wine? Or, perhaps you
are one of those people who have no experience with drunkenness, but I bet you
have been around someone after surgery or procedure that act emotionally while on
pain medications. Imagine now that all of those people are trapped inside of
one person and they are constantly battling to get out. Then, from time to
time, they all escape at the same time and pour out and attack poor
unsuspecting souls that happen to cross their path.
Hi, my name is Stacy, and that person
is me!
I have been around emotional drunk
people as well as emotional medicated people. This is what I know to be true;
whatever emotion they are feeling is forced upon everyone around them, whether
they like it or not. These emotions do not have to make sense to anyone, not
even the person experiencing them.They
are so strong and out of control they just burst out onto the scene and
bludgeon people at will.
Before I disclose my own issues and
embarrassment, I feel it necessary to embarrass my family first. When my oldest
son was a freshman he broke his hand during the warm-ups before a football
game. He proceeded to play the entire game, on the line, both sides of the
ball, without disclosing how bad his hand was hurting. Needless to say, it took
surgery to fix his hand. When he came out of surgery I was there waiting for
him. He looked up at me tenderly, grabbed my hand gently, stared deep into my
eyes and said, “Mom, I really need a pair of Indian pants. Please mom!” He was
so upset when I immediately and uncontrollably began snort laughing at his
request.
Ok, one more story. My husband is mildly
claustrophobic, so MRI’s are not his friend. Sadly he has spine and shoulder
issues that have required him to endure several of these in recent years. In
order to survive these moments of torture, the doctor prescribes him some
medication to relax him and take the edge off. This means he requires a
designated driver for these glorious events, which is me. On the way to these
appointments he can be crabby—but don’t tell him. Once we get to the office he
is immediately given the medication he needs. Within 15 minutes he is so very
in love with me and believes everyone in the office should know about it. I
become his favorite and clearly the most awesome person he has ever met. He
tells anyone in ear shot how lucky he is to have me. He looks at me like he did
on our wedding day. For some reason the doctors refuse to allow him to take these
pills every day; believe me, I have asked.
Well, now about me. I had to have a
hysterectomy a few years ago, so I have the joys of instant menopause in my
40’s while trying to raise a teenager, a tween, and a toddler…pray for them!
Though I am super duper happy with the decision to have this procedure done,
there are a few drawbacks. I have hot flashes, strange weight fluctuations, and
many times have zero control over my emotions. Not only do I have no control
over them, but they can at times altogether come rushing at me all at once with
no warning at all. This is the kind of day I am having today!
Let me give you some quick peeks into
my morning. Just to keep this into perspective, as I type this, it is not even
10:00am. To start, I homeschool my middle son. He struggles to stay focused and
on task most days so he can complete his work. There are certain assignments I
give him to do on his own while I am downstairs so he can work on keeping
himself focused without me there by his side. I will holler up to him from time
to time to give him gentle reminders to focus and stay on task. So today I hear
him clearly not doing his work for the 20th time and I angrily
holler up to him, “Tony, you better get back on task and get your work done...”
By now I am crying, “…mommy wants you to learn so you can be smart, and get a
job, and be a respectable adult that contributes to society.” And now I begin
laughing, “Just get your work done!” A few minutes pass and I notice him
looking over the balcony at me while I sit at my desk. I look up at him and he
timidly asks, “Mommy, are you ok?” Bless his little heart! I will just chalk
this up to husband training and remember to tell his future wife she can thank
me for that!
After the crazy emotion of that
moment I decide to make myself one of my all time favorite meals. Let me
describe this crazy deliciousness to you:
· Multi colored tomatoes, chopped
· Seedless cucumber, chopped
· Fresh basil, oregano, and parsley, chopped
· Baby spinach leaves, chopped
· Feta cheese
· Parmesan, shredded
Mix all ingredients in a bowl and set aside. Slice and lightly toast sour
dough bread. Lightly butter bread and top with heavenly mixture from above. Top
with grated pepper jack cheese, drizzle with avocado oil and put back in the
broiler until cheese melts. Remove from oven and brace yourself for a level of
addictive goodness that you will now have to have every week!
So, after removing this deliciousness
form the oven I sit down at the table to devour it completely. As I begin to eat I become overwhelmed with
the awesomeness of this scrumptious meal and begin to cry. This emotion quickly
turns into laughter at how ridiculous I am being, which turns into me choking
on my remarkable meal and fearing for my life.
I need a nap!
Some days I am convinced I need a
padded room and perhaps a straight jacket. Then I go grocery shopping and am
reminded of what isle I no longer have to shop on, can I get an amen; and I
feel it is an even trade. This is my life that I gladly and unashamedly share.
I hope that my hot mess of a life makes you feel better about your day. It
might be a good idea to fervently pray for all of those who are forced to come
in contact with me on a daily basis. Like sands through the hour glass, so are
the emotions in my day…or minute, the way this day is going.
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